So late one night I got to thinking about the future. “Where am I going to college?” “What should I study?” “Who am I going to marry?” “Just what is a hot dog made of?” All of these questions are without a doubt important. But they’re just useless thoughts if I have nowhere to live. I mean I don’t want to live with One-Tooth Bill in the alley behind that sketchy thai place. I need a house. No, not a house. Houses are for old people. I need an apartment. Yeah, a swanky pad where I can chill. A place where I can throw raging parties. A place that I won’t be embarrassed to show to my girlfriend. And I think I found it. Yes ladies and gentlemen I have found a good apartment. Located in Manhattan East is my future home. It even allows pets and you guys know how much ladies love cute kitties. It’s a 6 story building with an elevator. Of course I won’t tell everyone I use the elevator. No, I use the stairs like a fit and able person. Ok, you got me. I’ll use the elevator and tell everyone I use the stairs. Hey! It’s not my fault I can’t climb the stairs to my lovely studio with a wonderful view because I’ll get all sweaty, then my cardigan will get stinky, then I’ll rush wash it for my date that night but it’ll shrink. Then I’ll have to wear that weird Christmas sweater my aunt got me for my birthday. I digress. Point being that the elevator is going to save me a lot of trouble. In short, this b-e-a-utiful apartment will provide me with a place to party and work in peace. I wish I could move in right now! Here’s a link, you can buy it for me if you want… http://www.vacancy.com/new-york/new-york-apartments/manhattan-east/#property_description
- 2 years ago
I attended my schools first pep rally on Friday and I noticed, not for the first time, that many different people attend these things. There is a whole subculture to these things that I find it astounding that no one else has noticed it.* I write this as a guide for you. See who you spot at your next pep rally. Find out who you are.
*Note: I didn’t care enough to check to see if this is the only article on the web about this.
- The Super Fans- We all know this guy. This is the guy that we often see painted in the school colors, wearing the school flag as a cape, and being all-around obnoxious. He’s the loudest screamer and parades around the school wearing the school colors for every school game whether its the homecoming game, the qualifing tennis match, or the first debate team summit. Everyone laughs, whether its mostly with him or at him still puzzles pepologists. The Super Fan is the leader of all the pep at these gatherings and usually sets the tone for everyone else to follows. These people usually occupy the first 2-4 rows of bleachers at a pep rally and may or may not have a vuvuzela.
- The School Student Leaders- These are the people that are the Masters of Ceremonies at the pep rallies. This one may or may not be present at your school depending on how much the teachers trust the students. These are usually the school presidents, trusted (read: popular) seniors, or, like in one special occasion, the hobo that hangs around the school and offers to clean your car with his special soap (it’s his spit and semen). They walk around the school always dressed nice and tend to gather respect. They are the fine line that separates the pep rally from a riot (read: England). If Albert Q. Nerd led the pep rallies you can almost guarantee that it will end in a bonfire, broken windows, and PTSD Albert. These people can be found usually on the floor leading the rally.
- The Averages- Most people reading these are part of the normals, the average people, the energized student body. These are the masses that follow the example set forth by the Student Leaders and the Super Fans. They yell when they’re told to yell. They do the wave when they’re told to do the wave. They rise and fall to the sound of some guy with a megaphone. They are mindless sheep in people form. They are Sheeple. They take up the most space of any of the other categories. They are energized but only at a normal level. They are the masses for which the show is for. The sheeple take in everything and mindlessly follow.
- The Anti-Peps- These are the guys that hate all this mainstream cheering, man! You know these guys, the ones at the back just sitting there. Not saying a word. Conversing with each other even though it’s totally useless in the roar of the Sheeple and Super Fans. Maybe they hate the school. Maybe they hate life. Maybe they’re too shy to be the Super Fan. For whatever the reason, they have decided not to be part of the herd and just stand around. You’ll find them at the back of every pep rally.
- The Band- The band kids are more important than one might think. Not only do they give the pep rally and artistic flare, but they also give you a rhythm to chant to. Without them it would just a bunch of pubescent teenagers screaming at each other to “KILL THE COUGARS” which with today’s vernacular could mean “Kill the middle-aged women dating the younger men YEAH!” The band provides the order at the pep rally.
So there you have it. These are the subcultures of the pep rally. Try to keep an eye open next time you go to a pep rally and see if you can spot all the people. Good luck and have fun.
- 2 years ago
- 2 years ago
I Diego Salinas, the lone underclassman of Uncharted Territory, is ready for the year. We have new games, we will have new faces, and we have new underwear! This year is going to be a blast! Our first show is tomorrow and I’ll be doing Emoterama and Fairy Tale Countdown. Lets do this UCT!
- 2 years ago
At the grocery store. Orange juice was available as:
- No Pulp
- With Pulp
- MORE Pulp
- LOADED With Pulp
They did not have the other levels which are, in order of increasing pulpitude:
- Loaded With Even More Pulp
- Extra Loaded With Lots Of Pulp
- Holy Shit, That’s A Lot Of Pulp
- Seriously. There’s A Lot Of Pulp In This Motherfucker.
- Stop Fucking With Me. Who Would Want This Much Pulp?
- I’m Not Fucking With You. There’s So Much God Damned Pulp In This Sumbitch That You Should Forget A Straw Because You’ll Need A Fucking Ladle.
- Screw The Ladle. Get A Carving Knife.
- No Longer Juice. Slightly Damp Pulp.
- An Orange
(via evanition)Source: wellthatsjustgreat